If I Don’t Look Out For It, I Won’t See It

At times we just don’t see it, although discrimination is right in front of us.

 Discrimination is more than just visual – it’s a feeling. It is a feeling usually only felt by the one who is being discriminated against. Growing up in India, one accepts patriarchy as the way of life, as normality. Unless one experiences a different social system its very hard to see the in-built discriminatory practices.

Growing up I remember “Men” were the leaders, the decision makers, the ones with the answers (or so I thought, as they were always vocal about their achievements). When a woman did emerge amongst them, she was treated as a unique anomaly, almost against the rule of nature. This picture changed drastically in my youth at school when girls were neck to neck with the guys (and usually out performing them). Today in my professional space, I see how my female coworkers are as capable as the guys but are tested a lot more. It’s as if one is waiting for them to fail.

In India, even working women are expected to take care of all of their household responsibilities. If a woman stays late in the office she is socially scrutinized and her character is questioned. Why is she not spending enough time at home? But if a man works over-time, he is considered to be working hard, no questions asked. This is just one example—there are many more situations like this that occur on a regular basis. As a man, I don’t recognize many of them, even when they occur right in front of me!

I think it will take a lot of time and a continuous effort to be gender sensitive at our work place, plus the presence of many more women leaders and decision makers, before this scenario changes. To turn unique into universal, we need to create a work environment that trends towards gender equality.

But day to day, we concentrate so hard on our work and to be the best at what we do. At times we just don’t see it, although discrimination is right in front of us. For all those who disagree, watch this video and you will be surprised at your own awareness about what you see in front of you:



What are you missing?

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On Being A "Man"

India is a country where girls are told to be soft-spoken, shy, only to express their opinion when asked (or preferably not have an opinion)...

Being a man, and working in Delhi for gender sensitization in an office where the majority of workers are women, is a scenario not experienced by many. Interactions between men and women still follow the primitive norms of patriarchy in India. In fact, I should refer to it as the lack of interaction, and for the majority of the minimal contact we have with the opposite sex is on extremely uneven and uncomfortable grounds.
 
Now once one has grown up in the above constructed situation it is very hard to breakout of these barriers in ones professional environment. No matter how hard we try, professional space does find an overlap with the personal space and the more we enjoy our work the more personal it gets.
 
India is a country where girls are told to be soft-spoken, shy, only to express their opinion when asked (or preferably not have an opinion), to be adjusting, caring, most importantly thinking about the “MAN” first  (brother/father/husband). This conditioning does play a major role in the professional space as well. Be it a conference table discussion, or a community presentation, making a point or disagreeing with one; it’s expected from the men to take the lead (not because of their intellect, or ability but because of the societal role provided to them). I have personally found my self at center of attention many times.
 
In the beginning I used to get forced into taking the lead, although with time I have learned the art of spinning this position to the most capable person in the room rather than the “MAN.”  At first my team did revolt to this idea, as it was pretty much against the general protocol. I have faced so many shocked faces with the same argument, “But that’s NOT how it works!!!” although to date no one has been able to answer, “Why does it not work that way?”
 
Some times it’s a hard job being a “Man” at work. 

Original Link 

The View From India

Society as a whole is at such a big loss because half of it is confined by primitive social boundaries and never allowed to perform. And not because of lack of ability or motivation... 


Why should men care about gender equality both within and outside of the work context?

As I read the question above, I think about my life and role women play in it. My grandmother, my mother, my sister, my friends, my girlfriend - all the way from birth till today the amazing influences they have had on my life, on me. I care about gender equality because I care about them.

Coming from India, a country which has a strong patriarchal social structure, I see it in my day to day life how we play slaves to these norms. Society as a whole is at such a big loss because half of it is confined by primitive social boundaries and never allowed to perform. And not because of lack of ability or motivation. In fact, no one can point out any logical explanation, the reason that seems to be prominent is: "It’s like that because it has been that way!"

Thankfully, that argument does not suffice. Gender equality is not a WOMEN’s ISSUE, it’s a social issue of a society comprising of women and men. No one lives peacefully in an environment which has discrimination. Gender equality is one of the necessities of a progressive society and I think it can only be achieved by equal, active and honest participation of men and women.  

“We must become the change we want to see in the world”   -  Mahatma Gandhi

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Men advocating for real Change

My Profile on MARC

Amitabh Kumar, Head of Media and Communication, Centre for Social Research

Amitabh Kumar is Head of Media and Communication at the New Delhi, India-based Centre for Social Research. The Centre’s core mission is to restructure gender relations toward a humane, equitable and gender-just society. CSR focuses attention toward empowering women, protecting and ensuring women’s rights and understanding social issues from a gender perspective, and recognizes that restructuring gender relations requires the participation and support of all sectors of society: women and men, young and old, grassroots to national levels, private and public institutions alike. In addition to spearheading CSR’s communications strategy and execution, he is one of CSR’s gender trainers working with Indian companies and government agencies to ensure gender equality.

I WITNESS - The good people of DELHI by Sangeeta Das

I WITNESS - The good people of DELHI

by Sangeeta Das 

I am appalled at the lop-sided relay of events and incomplete images being telecast by some of the NEWS channels on TV, regarding the incident that happened at India Gate yesterday at around 5:30 PM.

I was there. We were all on the other side of India Gate towards the Dhyan Chand Stadium.

I think I need to paint the correct picture for the nation. Except for CNN IBN and NEWS X, most other channels are not showing the peaceful gathering. Thus it gives out the wrong message to the nation, to the politicians, to other women that there was violence.

Please pass on this note to as many people as you can and post it at as many places.

THERE WAS NO VIOLENCE NO PROVOCATION…THE POLICE ATTACKED WITHOUT ANY WARNING. I have been through section 144 earlier. At least there should have been one warning issued to us to get up and leave, peacefully, before they started hitting us.

Ms.Naina Kapur, of VISHKHA GUIDELINES fame, was there with me. Ms.Smita Bharti of SAAKSHI, an NGO working on SEXUAL HARASSMENT on women, was there. Ms.Nafisa Ali was standing behind us, Mr.Arvind Kejriwal was sitting just two rows in front of me, Mr.Arvind Gaur of ASMITA THEATER GROUP was there asking all the people to sit down and listen to the talks.

There were about 200-250 girls and equal or more number of men of all ages. There were young girls, some children, families and some elderly people along with hoards of photographers, journalists and reporters.

WE WERE ALL SITTING ON THE ROAD PEACEFULLY and listening to the painful account, of the mother of ‘KIRAN NEGI’, a 3 yr old who has been brutally raped and disfigured and killed, by her attackers. Even the sloganeering had stopped.

Many young and old men of Delhi were standing around us in a 3-4 layer human chain to protect us from any hooligans or nasty elements. It was like a CHAKRAVYUH.

Members of the ASMITA THEATER GROUP, including Mr.Gaur, were constantly walking around the circle. Young boys and girls of his team were repeatedly requesting and talking to people to not resort to violence, not to panic or run or throw stones, not to damage public property, AND not to hurt or abuse the female protestors.

There were many volunteers distributing biscuits and water to every protestor.

We were talking to the ‘AAM JANATA’ of Delhi on how to tackle the violence on women and children starting from ourselves, our homes and communities.

WE WERE SIMPLY TALKING.

I had just finished my packet of biscuit when the police, hundreds of them from DELHI POLICE and RAF, charged at us from behind, WITHOUT ANY WARNING.

They first attacked the men from behind, breaking their CHAKRAVYUH. I stood up to see what the commotion was about, and immediately fell as most girls didn’t get enough time to stand up. I hugged Smitaji as we fell on each other and there was a stampede over us.

Some of the men from the circle ran for their lives, but most of them ran towards us and hugged us and fell on us and took the initial blows of the LATHI CHARGE.

I couldn’t see anything; I just heard the two cracks of a SPLIT BAMBOO STICK on my back, butt and thighs. Then I heard the police screaming, HARAMZADIYON, RANDIYON, and then I saw a boot kicking my knees and shin.

They hit Smitaji on her lower-back and spine. The boys of ASMITA, and some more men pulled us all up and all of them formed protection girdles around the girls to push us out of the range of the water cannons and charging men in KHAKI AND BLUE.

Visibility was poor due to fog and tear gas; many girls were hit; even when we were running away and saying, “Ham jaa rahen hain, hame mat mariye”,…. they were hitting the boys rampantly, constantly spitting abuses on the girls. Many women reporters were also hit and chased, their vans attacked, equipments broken. Some girls still managed to pull a few lathis and gave it back to the men. I don’t know what happened to the children in the group and how the aunties in saris managed to run. I just hope they are all well.

There was not a single ambulance in sight; the entire C- Hexagon of India Gate was empty, barring the police. We walked for almost 45 min, as there was no way out from the outer circle. Finally we managed to duck behind press vans and escaped via Shahjahan Road.

Do I look like a hooligan? Was I armed? Was I provoking the police or creating a nuisance? Was I resorting to violence, by sitting there and listening to, or sharing our personal grievances of Sexual harassment and assault? You judge for yourself.

Agreed, that in such gatherings, some nasty elements do infiltrate and create a raucous, but the police didn’t seem to have the basic sensibility to differentiate between hooligans and some young girls, children, and elderly people.

If the Delhi Police and RAF lack the basic cognizance to recognize the good from bad, what protection can we expect from them? Instead I thank the men of Delhi, the boys of Delhi, who helped all the girls to escape from the wrath of THE POLICE. 

I request the people who were present there, to paint the correct picture, so that Mr.Manmohan Singh, Mr.Shinde and others would get the correct picture of what happened on the ground.

I request the PM and the Home Minister to believe that “I, the woman of India,” am not violent or the ‘Shame of the nation’... that we have to be ashamed that the world is watching. I was not offensive. But I will definitely stand up again to defend myself, my mother, my daughter and my kind. Let the world watch.

written by Sangeeta Das

To Kill or not to Kill

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To Kill or not to Kill

We are in rage, all of us. The gang rape which took place in Delhi, has got us questioning. Got us thinking about a major crisis India is facing. Our law an order machinery has failed, and it did not happen today, it has happened a long long time ago. It just that us ‘law abiding citizens ‘ never come face to face with it. ( its not just an activist’s claim, there are 3.20000000 pending cases in Indian courts (1) )

Today we are on the streets & we should be. But why are we there? The pressure we created has led to rapid action by the police against these rapists, more importantly the Chief Minister herself is looking into ensuring the victim gets the best medical attention. So what now?

Yes we pray every day for the victim, and hope she recovers quickly.

What about the rapists who are jailed? The process of justice is a slow and lengthy one ( though this particular case will be tried in so called ‘ fast track court ‘, first date is 9^th January ( so that the judiciaty & police have ample time to celebrate santa & recover from their hangover of the 31^st December celebration, by the time all the steps:

1.     Framing of charge

2.     Recording of prosecution evidence

3.     Statement of accused

4.     Defence evidence hearing

5.     Final arguments

6.     Judgment

Are done the public anger would have subsided ( like it has for all the cases in the past ), let us presume the rapists are granted the maximum punishment under IPC for gang rape which is 10 years. ( usually only 2 out of 10 rape cases reach a conviction, if ever (2) )

10 years these 6 men will stay in company of similar men all convicted of rape/murder/robbery or some other felony. 10 years of such company & the atmosphere of Indian jails will these 6 men be reformed ? When released will they be respecting women ?

Lets say somehow we our pressure leads to them being jailed for life, so in that scenario they will never be a threat to the society. They will join the existing population of prisoners in our over spilling jails, will be kept alive on the tax payers money ( my money ), for what ? For the day they die in Jail ? Yes it might lead to the fear of the law,

sending a message : that if you rape & if its in the capital & if the students are not having exams & if the media vans can be parked close to the demonstration, in that scenario of scenarios you would have to spend your life in jail. ( Jail a place which 30% of malnourished homeless India views as a pathetic shelter home, but a shelter home none the less )

Is that really the message which we want to send out ? Secondly a rather direct question if its really for scaring people from committing rape. What should be our message

If you rape, you will spend rest of your life in confinement.

OR

If you rape, you will be killed.

 Reading up there is a provision in the IPC which say, they can be hanged in the ‘ rarest of the rare cases’ Well the way I see it, rape is one such crime. Its not committed out of poverty, out of compulsion, for survival.  If you disagree with me, ask any rape victim and I am sure they will answer the same.

Yes these 6 men should be hanged, and yes the only punishment for rapists is capital punishment. For the human right defenders , well in my not so humble opinion, rape is the most inhuman act of them all, and they deserve to die.

Sources

1.    http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-12-20/india/30537308_1_subordinate-courts-pendency-crore-cases
2. http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-12-21/india/35952603_1_conviction-rate-sweden-countries

JAWAHARLAL NEHRU UNIVERSITY STUDENTS UNION OPEN MEMORANDUM TO THE HOME MINISTER OF INDIA, CHIEF MINISTER OF DELHI AND DELHI POLICE COMMISSIONER

JAWAHARLAL NEHRU UNIVERSITY STUDENTS UNION

OPEN MEMORANDUM TO THE HOME MINISTER OF INDIA, CHIEF MINISTER OF DELHI AND DELHI POLICE COMMISSIONER

19 December 2012 The gang-rape and brutalization of a 23 year old student on the roads of Delhi has shocked and deeply disturbed people across the country, particularly the citizens of Delhi. The incident once again betrays the impunity of the perpetrators who remain undeterred by the police and the entire criminal justice system of the capital city.

Despite the massive public outrage, the official response to this incident has been disappointing, with no one in office willing to take responsibility for this sorry state of affairs. Yesterday, the Home Minister paid lip service to ensuring speedy investigation in the case but took no pains to announce new mechanisms or reassure the women of Delhi vis-Ã -vis their safety; the Delhi CM held that the Police was under the Home Ministry and subsequently decided to divert matters by writing to the judiciary for ensuring speedy trial; the Delhi Police Commissioner accepted no lapse on part of the Police, asserted that all such crimes cannot be prevented and also tried to pass responsibility on to the judiciary for delays in trial and conviction. The fact of the matter is that all these offices and institutions are collectively responsible for this pathetic state of affairs wherein women continue to remain unsafe in the capital city of Delhi, as also in the entire country. We are deeply concerned about the health and well-being of the survivor of this brutal rape. We express our solidarity with her and her family. We all unite in wishing her a speedy recovery and a life of dignity.

We again demand the arrest of all culprits “ two of whom are still absconding “ and also demand speedy justice for her. The trial and conviction must be completed within 100 days. Demands to Fight Crimes against Women Delhi alone accounts for 13.3 per cent of the total incidents of crimes against women and 43.1 per cent of the total incidents of crimes against children among 53 mega cities of India. In view of the alarming rise in crimes against women in Delhi, particularly gang-rapes, the JNU Students Union demands the following: 

1. Drastically improve the rate of registration of FIRs in Delhi.
As per the National Crime Records Bureau Report of 2011, of the total 14618802 complaints of crime received by Delhi Police only 59249, i.e., less than 0.5 per cent, were registered as FIRs. This shows the general apathy of the Delhi Police towards all crimes in Delhi. As per Delhi Police Annual Report of 2010, only 11.88 per cent of all complaints received by the Crimes Against Women (CAW) Cells in Delhi were converted into FIRs. This criminal apathy is responsible for the confidence enjoyed by criminals in the state.

2. Drastically improve the rate and quality of investigation into cases. Also improve the rate and speed of chargesheeting, trial and conviction. Currently, a bigger proportion of those charged with rape and other crimes against women go scot free. The conviction rate in crimes against women has fallen in the country from a meagre 27.8% in 2010 to 26.9% in 2011. As per studies conducted in Delhi, those convicted of rape lodged in the Tihar Jail of Delhi have committed on an average four rapes before conviction. This betrays the failure of the entire criminal-justice system.

3. Introduce compulsory courses on gender sensitivity in the training module of the Police Force instead of just a handful of workshops for a handful of Police Officers.

4. Ensure more women in the Delhi Police. Currently there are less than 6.5 per cent women in the Delhi Police.

5. Introduce Fast Track and Specialized courts for rape and other crimes against women in Delhi. This has been promised repeatedly by the Home Ministry over the last decade only to be reneged. 

6. Ensure women constable escorted transportation on telephonic and any other form of request to any woman in Delhi. Make such transport available at speed.

7. Ensure more stringent sexual assault laws in the country. Amend existing weak laws on rape and sexual assault in the country. 

8. Institute anti-sexual harassment committees in all schools, colleges and workplaces as per the Supreme Court guideline. Ensure passage of the prevention of sexual harassment at workplace bill after suitable amendments to remove weaknesses. 

9. Enact State Level Laws in Delhi for curbing crimes against women.

10. Institute mechanisms to ensure physical and psychological wellbeing of all victims of crimes through counselling and dedicated medical facilities.

The JNUSU will continue its struggle to ensure that these measures are undertaken.

Sd/V. Lenin Kumar President, JNUSU

Sd/Shakeel Anjum General Secretary, JNUSU

Please join us at India gate today ( 19.12.12 ) at 5 pm

 details : http://www.facebook.com/events/120378174795019/?ref=22